My first bondage fantasy started very early in my life: I was only 6 years old. We were playing cowboys and Indians (as you did in the 60’s). The boys were the cowboys, and we had captured one of the girls (an Indian). We tied her up with skipping ropes. It was all very innocent and obviously non-sexual , but I do remember wishing that the girls had captured me and tied me up. Some days later in our back garden I found some garden twine and tied my feet together and  couldn’t  get free, so inched down the concrete path on my bottom to call my mum to get some scissors to cut me free. I tore my shorts in the process so I was not popular at the time.

During my adolescence although I was attracted to females I always secretly fantasized about being tied up by them, but was far too scared and shy to voice my thoughts.  During the early days of my marriage my partner & I played a few experimental bondage games, but it was clear that this distracted her from ‘normal’ sex which she clearly preferred, and then once the first of our kids arrived we never toyed with any BDSM activity again and my urges were supressed.

A couple of years later I started to periodically visit pro-dommes, and bondage was always at the top of my shopping list with these service providers. Once I was restrained it made me crave teasing and torture, in particular NT and CP, which at that time never really used to work for me unless I was restrained, and the tighter the better.

My tastes evolved as years passed, and then 8 years ago I visited Mistress Angelica for the first time. I had completed Her questionnaire to give Her an idea of my likes and dislikes but basically left the field open for Her to conduct the session as She felt She would like. From that session onwards the nature on bondage changed for me. On that initial visit I was tightly bound by cling film to a pole. Holes were made for access to my nipples and genitals, and I felt vulnerable, and pain was inflicted, but a switch had been flicked in that session.

The difference had been that I immediately felt complete trust with MA, and that brings a completely different angle to bondage play. It now seemed that the more I am restrained by my Mistress the more comfortable and secure I feel, which to the uninitiated might appear to be the polar opposite of what they might expect. Coversely being tightly bound and disciplined seems cathartic and relaxing, yet standing there unbound makes whatever Mistress delivers is mentally far more unselttling. I'd love someone here on subhub to try to explain to me why this might be.

Years of training with my Mistress has enabled me to take more and more discipline, and my position as a collared slave compels me to accept whatever She wants to do without being restrained, but to be fully secured by Her and completely vulnerable always adds an extra frisson to the excitement which She never fails to generate.