What a good question maslavem. I recognise in myself the qualities you mention, and from an established vanilla relationship (of well over 30 years) I would hope my partner would endorse that sentiment. I am minded to think that these traits are almost essential for a true submissive, but would love to hear from someone who feels that they do not apply to them. In vanilla world I have control, not forcibly, but it works and feels natural, although with that responsibility there is an element of stress which is generated within me. Perhaps that is what has driven me since the early 80’s to look for a release elsewhere, and the ‘pro-domme’ avenue was always a ‘quick fix’. For me it always used to be about simple restraint/discipline, and that helped me to thrive for years, and I never felt I needed anything else. But then it happens… If you are lucky enough to meet that kindred spirit there is a switch which is clicked immediately, and in 2010 this happened to me. My submissive tendencies didn’t change, but the pivot point did. With casual D/s play the ‘punter’ is king, and the ‘service provider’ (wonderful ladies as I found most of them to be) is only one of many in the market place. As a customer you are at the centre of the hub. When however a sub finds a Domme that fits naturally for them, the perspective changes completely. In my mind I no longer considered that I was in control, and that part of me that thrives outside of vanilla world was released to soar up to even greater heights. There is however a reality check that each sub (although I prefer now to consider myself as a collared slave) has to acknowledge. I know that my Mistress appreciates my submission, but I need to accept that I am only one of many, and that it is a privilege to be permitted to arrange time with Mistress Angelica. Were I to fail Her, to be dismissed or abandoned, I am under no illusion that She would continue to enjoy life without this particular individual, although I vainly hope that at least in the short term I would be remembered with some fondness for the service I have been permitted to offer. I on the other hand have freely gifted a part of myself to only one other outside of my marriage. It is a part I can never retrieve or offer to anyone else, so for me control has been lost, and whilst my Mistress is central to whom I now am, the reality is that I am at the end of only one spoke of Her wheel. Though long may that continue for as long as She desires.